Boreal Witch

It's been about 5 months since my grandmother died. In some ways, it's been very, very hard. I miss calling her. There are times when I still think that I need to phone her, though much less frequently. There have been a few times when something I do or say triggers a memory and I tear up. It's getting much easier to deal with day-to-day events.

Robinson's mother passed away on Thursday. I've been a bit of a closet wreck because I'm at a loss of what I should do. Should I comfort Robinson? How? What do I say?

Then there's Arthur. He's still young enough that he doesn't really fully understand the concept of death, but he's old enough to know that something's going on. We've tried very hard to be as up front as possible when it comes to telling Arthur how the world works, but how do we explain that his Oldma is gone and that she won't be coming back?

Finally, I've been asked to give a remembrance speech at the funeral. Generally, I'm not very good at emotional events, funerals especially. I could barely say a word at my grandfather's funeral because I felt so guilty (although so much time had passed between the death and the funeral that I felt pretty confident about speaking at my grandmother's funeral). I feel like it's a huge responsibility...but maybe I'm just making more out of it than it really is.

Everything gets easier with time. Even accepting the loss of someone dear.

Blessed be.

Arthur has made a new friend.

In fact, he is so enamored with this new friend that he asks us almost everyday, "Is Rook coming over today?" "Where's Rook?" "When's Rook coming over?"

Rook, I should clarify, is not a preschool pal or childhood chum. Not of the human sort, anyway. Rook is his "Uncle" Johnny's new puppy.

The first evening Rook came over, Arthur was mesmerized and a little bit frightened. His friends Alek and Jade have dogs, and he's been begging for the last few months to read books about dogs before naptime, so, he's more or less familiar with dog behavior. (On a side note - I think I've become quite the expert on dog-related juvenile and young adult fiction.) Considering we have a cat who doesn't do much but beg for food and lay around all day, Rook is pretty darn interesting.

Arthur's love affair with Rook was so intense that we bought Rook a couple toys and some treats at Petco the following Tuesday. Arthur even picked them out.

Now, he's been hounding us (yes, pun intended) to get a dog. He'll say things like, "Someday we're going to get a dog named Rook." I'm sure someday we will (but give him another name), but right now I can tell that while he is fascinated by dogs and puppies, he's also still afraid of them - a pretty natural response for a two or three year old. Besides, can I handle a toddler, a baby, AND a puppy?

I don't even want to find out.

Blessed be.

If there's one thing to be said about my mom, she has the biggest green thumb. Her indoor plants are perfection, with lush green leaves and sturdy stalks. Once, I went to her office and followed one of her philodendron from its too-small pot to the very last leaf on the vine. It could have wrapped around her cubicle three times, easily.

Then there's me. For the longest time, I couldn't grow spider plants. Or philodendrons. Cactus were out. Anything I tried to nurture simply shriveled up and died. It was a shame because I love having plants around. For some inexplicable reason, plants give me warm fuzzies. It's like having a bit of Nature indoors.

There have been numerous studies indicating how important house plants are. House plants actually clean our indoor air and can reduce stress levels and make us feel calmer. In work environments, house plants increase our productivity.

I didn't get many plants until about six years ago when a friend of mine gave me all of his houseplants, but surprisingly, they not only survived, but thrived. I still have quite a few of them now.

I was given one of my plants during my field research in Bethel. It's been living in our bathroom for the last few years. During my trip to Wisconsin, it didn't get enough water and has been in a slow decline ever since. I was pretty upset because I really liked the plant and thought I might be able to save it. I put it in some water (something I'd seen my mother do to establish roots) and waited.

Two weeks later, the plant has developed some roots and will hopefully come back to life (even though it seems kind of silly to hope that a plant of all things lives). If the roots continue to grow strong, I should be able to put it back in the dirt in another two months.

Sometimes it feels good to nurture something, even if it is just a plant.

Blessed be.

Baby X is well on its way and I'm a bit terrified. I'm not scared of being a new mom again or messing up this kid's life. No, this time around I'm worried that the stuff will end up taking over the house. What stuff? Baby stuff. Kid stuff. Toys, clothes, books, games, furniture...the list could go on.

I'll be the first to admit that it's great to know a circle of moms. We swap stories about our kids. We give advice. We share our old stuff. Everything gets recycled. I recently received a bassinet from a friend of mine who didn't need it anymore. The crib mattress is currently being used in Arthur's toddler bed, and we didn't want to purchase another crib mattress (besides, where would we put a huge crib in our small house, anyway?).

Sometimes recycled stuff doesn't always come in a condition or style that you'd appreciate. For some people, stuff is stuff. They don't care what it looks like as long as they can use it. I'm not really like that. Generally, if I don't like the look of something, it's either 1) hidden until I can do something with it, 2) refurnished, or 3) thrown out or given away. Take, for instance, Exhibit A: the bassinet (picture on the left). While I was very pleased to get it, I was completely turned off by the frilly blue and white. Not my cup of tea. Luckily, the same weekend that I inherited it, Nana was in town and I was able to recover it (see Exhibit B, picture on the right). I still need to get the right size pliers to attach the snaps for the inside cover and I'm thinking about getting a larger basket for the bottom, but otherwise...it's a nice complement to our bedroom!

Why do we hold on to so much stuff? Some people know they're going to be having a large family, but I only bothered holding onto Arthur's old clothes on the slim chance that I'd be having another kid. Now that it's happened, I'm going to be so glad to pass it all to another mom who needs it when we're through with everything. It's simply amazing how much stuff another human being "requires."

Blessed be.

The warm weather has brought the gift of snow.

Blessed be.

Dee dee dee they sweetly sing
Chasing swooping teasing
Flitting from snowy branch to feeder
Winter entertainment
While I watch through the window.