Boreal Witch

When spring came, Robinson and I chose several tasks to complete this summer. One of them was the same on both lists: build a better garden.

We've had our garden boxes ever since we moved into the house. They've slowly expanded from one to three to five, with two smaller ones behind the rhubarb which have yet to take shape. We've always had mixed results. In some years we've had a pretty decent garden (as long as the moose didn't eat everything) and other years our vegetables were pretty sparse.

This year, our garden is lush. LUSH. We've already harvested some radishes and we'll be eating some of our kohlrabi in a few weeks. Our squash has flower buds and the carrots and turnips are looking excellent. Even the rhubarb (which we never, ever do anything to) is beautiful.

The secret? Simple greenhouses made of pvc pipe and plastic, fertilizer, and lots of water. Lots of water. More water than we originally thought. Happily, some of the junk the previous owners left behind has proven extremely useful - in the form of a 300 gallon water tank. A couple years ago, Robinson set up a water collection system on the garage that rivaled his attempts of mudroom draft patrol. Since then, he's added gutters and a 30 gallon barrel to the water system.

Next year I hope to start my seeds even earlier. I also hope to grow some peppers and tomatoes. And flowers. Lots of flowers. Maybe I'll even get around to making that mini greenhouse on the porch I keep dreaming about. Something that can easily be moved into the mudroom during the winter months.

Blessed be and happy gardening!

Every year I say that I'll have a big celebration for Summer Solstice and I never do. A part of me says, "Hell, I'm busy raising 2 kids!" and another part of me says, "What a horrible Wiccan you are."

Happy Solstice, everyone.

Blessed be.

Rosy cheeked
Warm faced
Summer's zenith
Fading slowly
Into Autumn's horizon

Balin, my darling baby boy, will be 3 months old next week. I almost feel I must make some banana cupcakes or ladyfingers to celebrate.

We made a damn adorable baby. He's quite observant of Arthur and watches him play. Someday he'll make a great tag-a-long. He smiles when I sing to him even though I'm tone deaf and pitch deficient. He loves finger games. He's in no happier place than a lap watching the action. He's taken to grabbing his penis when he's being changed. (When I asked Arthur if he taught Balin to do that, a mischievous smile appeared on his face and he said, "yes.")

It's a wonderful feeling knowing that Balin is thriving because the last couple of weeks have been particularly stressful. I'm tired, so very tired of not getting a good night's sleep. I crave a full 6 hours straight - even 4 hours would be heaven! - and my bed back to the original trinity: myself, Robinson, and the cat, with Balin nestled peacefully in his own bed.

As I bounced Balin for the umpteenth time today, I found myself muttering, "Patience, patience, patience..."

Oh Goddess are babies exhausting. I don't know how some people have such large families. I struggle with my two youngsters daily. Of course, both are under 5.

I need a nanny. Or a grandma who lives closer.

Blessed be.

A few weeks ago, our family went to GVEA to get one of their free red chokecherries, figuring we could use it for the placenta burial and tree planting ceremony. We put it in a bucket of water next to the front porch. There it sat for about two weeks. Poor thing. Good thing we remembered to give it water. Once it started budding, it was time to plant it and since my family was in town this weekend, it seemed like a good time.

Robinson took the placenta out of the freezer last night. My dad spotted it on the counter this morning and thought it was liver. I'm glad he didn't fry it up with some onions. (Of course, it wouldn't have been possible anyway - we were out of onions.)

The ceremony was small: just my family and a friend and her two kids. Balin woke up from a nap right before we began and drooled through the whole thing. He seemed to know something special was going on. Even the rain let up for 10 minutes so that we could complete the ceremony and get the tree planted.

Arthur helped with the burial by throwing some dirt and water into the hole containing the tree. After his small part he and his friend Jade ran off to play.

Once the tree was planted, it started to rain again. We ate a late dinner and talked while the kids played. It's beautiful, having traditions such as these.

Blessed be.

We recently bought an ice cream maker. It was my first time making ice cream, which seems odd because who hasn't made coffee can ice cream as a kid? We chose an old fashioned vanilla recipe for the base and added peanut butter and chopped peanut butter cups before putting it into the ice cream maker.

The final product? Delicious!

Since I'm on a 30-day sugar fast, owning an ice cream maker is the equivalent of doomsday. So far I've only had two small servings, but I strongly felt the effects of the sugar. Normally, I'm in a constant struggle with my sugar cravings, especially when I eat too much of it. Once I eat that first piece, it's all downhill from there. Candy must be hidden in nondescript paper bags or restricted to a top shelf in a kitchen cabinet where I can't reach it without a chair.

As a Wiccan, I should be taking better care of myself. While I don't necessarily believe that my body is a temple, it is mine and I should be doing what I can to take care of it. I should meditate, I should continue to learn, I should fill my body with good foods, I should exercise, I should get enough sleep, and I should volunteer.

Additionally, my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs should be met, but it's so difficult with two young kids. Their needs will always overshadow my own; at least until they are on their own. Is it a sin to want to take care of myself? Sometimes I feel that it is. I feel guilty when I nap with Balin and leave Arthur to play by himself. I know it won't last forever and that someday I will have more alone time than I can handle.

Until then, I suppose I'll always have the ice cream maker.

Blessed be.

Here's an update for my faithful readers. I hope this doesn't become the norm. I like writing blogs as events happen. I'll try to make it short and sweet since it's really hard to type one-handed.

Robinson finished his paternity leave this week. It's nice to have the house again, but it's so hard juggling two kids. I was incredibly blessed with so many helping hands in the beginning, but now it's become so daunting. Balin's choice of sleeping place is on or with someone which means that I am probably holding this kid 18 hours everyday during the week. It's exhausting.

Luckily, Arthur has been - for the most part - really good. He's officially stopped taking naps, but is given the option just in case we had a really busy morning. He lets me nap for an hour or two here and there, but I can tell he really misses one-on-one time with me. I remind him that once Balin is older, it will be a lot easier for him and I to do things together. He's now going to the bathroom exclusively on the big potty because he made such a mess using his little potty. Pee would collect inside the potty and start to smell or he'd just miss completely and get it all over the floor. I blame the fact that he finally learned how to pee standing up.

Balin is thriving. He must mix protein packs with my breastmilk because he's so huge for a two month old. Compared to Arthur, at least, who was pretty average except for height. He has a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'm curious to see what his weight and percentiles are. He's already pretty comfortable in 3 month clothes, and I wonder when he'll be growing out of those. He still sleeps sporadically and usually never more than 2 hours at a time, even at night. I find myself wishing the summer would zoom by so that I'll get some proper sleep. Balin still sleeps with myself and Robinson, which is not our preferred place because any slight movement wakes him up, but he's too young to let him cry it out. He's such a light sleeper that anytime we put him in the bassinet he wakes up 10 minutes later. It's just easier at this point to hold him and suffer through the next few months.

As for me, I'm often crabby and frustrated and resentful, but am constantly reminding myself how difficult life was in the beginning with Arthur and how much easier it became when he got older. I remind myself that it's bound to be the case with Balin, too. It can't take the place of sleep or achy arms and legs from holding and bouncing a baby, but it does bring me a little solace in the middle of the night when he has awaken yet again. I wish I had known when Arthur was a baby how good I had it since Robinson was in charge of getting him back to sleep at night. Now it's just me almost all the time...is it any wonder why I haven't moved Balin out? I just don't have the energy.

I've also decided to go on a 30 day sugar fast. No sweet breads, cakes, cookies, etc. for a month. I'm on day 11 and so far, things are going pretty well. I feel really good and I think I've lost a little more of the baby weight. I can't complain, though there are days when I would really, really love a cookie. Or two. Or five. In addition to the heat, baking at this point seems completely unnecessary.

The housework gets done on an as needed basis. I let the bathroom go for three weeks because I didn't have the time, energy, or desire to clean it. Finally, it got so disgusting that it had to be done. It only took about 20 minutes, but really, 20 minutes cleaning the bathroom means 20 less minutes sleeping, showering, or eating something. I'm surprised more people don't spring for maid services for new moms. It sounds like that would be more essential than newborn clothing. Let's face it, unless you have a 5 lb baby, no one needs newborn clothes for more than a few weeks.

Other than that, things are...progressing.

Blessed be.