Dear un-neighborly neighbor:
Being from Alaska, I've never had to worry about bedbugs. That being said, I admit freely that I'm completely ignorant about what to do should my family contracts them.
I'd like to thank you ever so much for bringing bedbugs into the building in which I live and for allowing them to settle in for a lengthy period of time. I'd like to thank you for bringing a general state of disgust and panic to my family and neighbors as well as for just disrupting my life. It's been a real pleasure having a group of strange men enter my home and spraying for vermin that aren't even there. Not only do I love having to put my apartment back together again, I absolutely love inhaling strange and potentially dangerous chemicals.
Words cannot express how much I've loved the added flurry of excitement in recent days. It's not like I have anything better to do. In fact, it's been so much fun trying to shove all of our crap into our tiny storage downstairs. Just thinking about the vermin control carefully edging around all the boxes we'll have to pile up in our rooms makes me chuckle. They will probably issue some kind of complaint with the office, which makes me chuckle even more.
I appreciate your thoughtfulness. You're an absolute treasure.
Regards,
The Family in Apartment 1
Blessed be.
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