Criticism
6:18 PM - Posted by Bobbi - 0 comments
As a very young child, I felt more at ease with my talents. I would show off my stories and drawings to anyone who took the time to give them a glance. Most people admired these labors of love and I would always respond with a cocky, "I know. They are awesome, aren't they?"

Somewhere between junior high and obtaining a Masters I became less and less excited about sharing the products of my imagination, particularly with people I knew and trusted. Their words held such meaning that I knew I'd shatter if they said anything negative about what I'd created. 

This mentality - that I could not share my words or art because of fear - proved toxic. At my core, I am a creator, so it became imperative to abandon the belief that someone's words would force me to stop being imaginative or creative. 

I'm writing a novel. Did you know that, reader? I won't go into the details here; in fact, the most important piece of this information is not that I'm writing a novel, but that I shared it with three trusted friends. 

And my world didn't end. 

There were some positive words, encouraging words, and - of course - lots of questions, need for clarification. 

I have to remind myself that this is my first draft and that it is bound to be awful. There will be parts that don't quite fit, that need a bit more embellishment, that require polishing. I have to remind myself that my friends are not giving me these suggestions because they are being cruel, but because they find the story and characters as interesting as I do.

Because it matters to me, they want to see it succeed.

Blessed be.





Happy 7th Birthday, Arthur!
8:25 PM - Posted by Bobbi - 0 comments
Dear Arthur,

Being the older one, you make everything look so damn easy. I know, because I am the oldest of my sisters, too. I see much of myself in you.

I know your struggles, the challenges and frustrations of perfection, and the need to control everything. It's a challenge, but also a keen motivator. As such, I know you will do great things in your life. You will see and experience so much because of that constant need to push yourself.

You are a mentor to your brother and have taught him much more than I have or ever will. When people say that he seems so mature for his age, I tell them that his brother is a good teacher, because it is true.

For me, seven was a turning point. I craved more independence and more responsibility. I strove to learn as much as I could, reading voraciously. I copied pictures from photographs in nature books, penciling them with as much detail as I could.

And now, my dear boy, you read chapter books and are a devotee of Harry Potter. You draw step-by-step instructions for your Lego creations, carefully adding the pieces until they sort of resemble the spaceship or truck that you tried to emulate, in their own misshapen way. You create stop-motion animation movies with Legos, spending a great deal of time building elaborate sets and moving the mini-figures and vehicles just so, telling stories with pictures. You have particular tastes, still refusing all sports except for tennis, but are an adventurous eater, which I truly appreciate. You love Spanish and never tire of reminding me how awful my pronunciation is. You play piano with the same fun tenacity as you approach building a new Lego kit.

But mostly, I am so proud of your curious nature. It will be a great asset in a world full of people who do not question enough. Keep asking questions, Arthur. Ask the whys and the hows and then discover the answers. I will help you when I am able, but be prepared to also determine many things by yourself.      

Blessed be.


Brushgate
6:14 PM - Posted by Bobbi - 0 comments
As a child, my sisters and I spent most of our summers between Kansas and Wisconsin. We had family in both places, so that shouldn't be a surprise, but as a narcissistic child I often met people and didn't have the faintest clue who they were. For example, one of my dad's cousins lived in the trailer on my grandparents' farm and for the longest time I did not realize she was, in fact, related. The thought never occurred to me. I never saw these people more than once or twice every summer. Why should I care?
Living in Wisconsin now means I see these people quite often, actually. I see Gloria every few weeks, stay in touch with a few of my second cousins through Facebook, and am slowly getting to know extended family that I had just barely known a couple years ago. I have become privy to all kinds of family events and, whether I like it or not, clan warfare. 

One not-so-special day in March, I received an invitation to a surprise birthday celebration from Patti, another one of Dad's cousins. We would be celebrating her mother's (my great-aunt Joyce's) 85th birthday. It would mean four hours on the road - two hours there and another two back - but it would also be a good chance to mingle with relations. Besides, with Gloria out of the country and my father in Alaska, no one from my grandmother's line would be present. (Not that anyone would have missed us if we could not come - the place was packed - but it helped with family P.R. to make an appearance.)

Most of the people there I did not know. They may have recognized me as "Eunice's granddaughter", but I could not label them. Some of them were no doubt extended family, and others were friends. For instance, I met one of Joyce's high school friends and her granddaughter, who had driven her to the party. 

The boys, of course, sniffed out a playground and, after lunch, spent a significant portion of their time outside, coming in only for cake. Joyce wandered the room, spending time with friends and sharing stories. Trivia questions about events in Joyce's life had been placed on every table and she affirmed that when she was four years old, the doctor came to her house and removed her tonsils right at her kitchen table. (No doctor would be able to get away with that nowadays!) 

By now, dear reader, you are probably wondering why I even mentioned clan warfare several paragraphs back. After all, it seemed like everyone had a marvelous time. Allow me only to say that with the family celebrations and fun also comes the family rumors and talk, which I had not ever expected to become part of. Perhaps it is because I am still sort of an outsider, or maybe it is because this person thought I had some clout within the family; regardless of the reason, it was surprising. Robinson jokingly called the whole situation "Brushgate".  

Truly, it will be very interesting to see what the future of family relationships holds.

Blessed be.


Hello, St. Louis!
12:51 PM - Posted by Bobbi - 0 comments
Spring Break was two weeks away and we had yet to plan our trip. Robinson had even requested the whole week off - a definite shame if we didn't take advantage of a week's worth of adventure (I mean family time).

Originally, we wanted to go to Washington D.C. The kids and I have never been; Robinson traveled to the capital years ago for a journalism conference. He thought there was enough for both us and the kids to enjoy.

(A side note: unfortunately for our kids, we are the type of parents who like to enjoy ourselves on vacations. We are the parents who take our kids to state/national parks and frequent museums and science centers over Six Flags or Disneyland. We force them to eat at restaurants that don't always serve chicken nuggets or hamburgers. We do things that we think everyone will enjoy - not just the kids. I am not suggesting that theme parks or nugget-serving places are not wonderful, but there is no way I am eating all of my meals at McDonald's or waiting in line for four hours to meet some cartoony character. Other parents have more stamina than I do I guess, because I do not ever intend to. No possible way.)

So we took an evening and began planning. We spent two hours looking at hotels in the D.C. area that 1) had an indoor pool and 2) were on some kind of transit line. After we finally settled on a hotel, we were horrified to discover that the cheapest tickets did not leave Chicago until 9:30p.m. - meaning we did not get into Washington D.C. until 11:30p.m.

No, no, no. This would not do at all. Robinson and I could manage a late flight like that, but not us and the baggage and two crabby, exhausted boys. No matter how amazing and wonderful D.C. seemed, it would have to wait for a future Spring Break.

What then? Where could we go that wouldn't be a nightmare to get to but would still have lots of fun activities for both us and the boys?

As it turns out, St. Louis, Missouri.

I've been to Missouri several times, usually as a quick stop before continuing to Kansas to visit family there, but only the western half, obviously. Never St. Louis.

So we looked into it. The Arch. The best zoo in the nation. The City Museum. There seemed to be enough to keep the family entertained for a week. And it was only a five hour drive one way - less than a trip from Fairbanks to Anchorage. Plus, there was a state park in Illinois at about the halfway point. We'd be able to stop and give these boys a chance to run around. Perfect.

Starved Rock State Park is just a stone's throw from Utica, Illinois. It's a lovely place, known for its waterfalls and extended hiking trails and also this guy: a fish that spends his time sandwiched inside a log. Apparently, so many people were concerned about his predicament that the park volunteers had placed a thought-bubble sign on the glass tank above him which reads: "I'm not stuck and I'm not dead. I just like to hang out in this log. Thanks for your concern." I like people with a sense of humor.

We chose a hotel downtown, very close to the Arch, one of the many sites we wanted to visit.

The nearby sidewalks had been spray painted with "This way to the Arch" stencils, which became Balin's slogan. He shouted, "This way to the Arch!" every single time he saw one. (After we went to the Arch, he often added, "We went to the Arch!")  

The Arch turned 50 this year, so the streets and park surrounding the site were torn up. Luckily the Arch itself was still open, so we were still able to get a crappy shot of us next to a landmark (family tradition) and take a trip to the top. The elevators inside the Arch were like little futuristic pods and seated five people in a cramped, tiny space. We had been warned that if it was a windy day, the Arch would sway back and forth, but fortunately all was quiet. Getting a bird's-eye view of the city center was pretty cool (the day was perfectly clear, we could see for miles) and the boys enjoyed looking down for all of five minutes before they were ready to go.

The St. Louis zoo is touted as the best one in the nation and I must admit that I was pretty impressed. Admission was free, although all of the special areas inside the zoo - including a kid's area - required tickets to get inside. The kid's area had an unbelievable playground right next to a river otter exhibit, all designed as if it were a river bank, complete with a slide so that children could pretend they were otters themselves. (And we all know how my boys feel about otters!)

This area also had the most mild-mannered goats in their petting zoo I had ever seen; then again, there were no bits of food for kids to give to the goats...so no incentive for the goats to trample the children in an effort to get it. There were brushes available, however, and the boys enjoyed stroking and petting the many goats and laughed hilariously when two of the goats climbed onto the benches inside the petting zoo.

My favorite activity in St. Louis, however, was our visit to the City Museum. The day started out dull and grey, with the possibility of rain; we were, in fact, rained upon during the last few blocks of our walk to the City Museum. The boys complained until they saw the place: it was a junk enthusiast's dream. Plus, there were giant Legos there! (And who doesn't want to make a house out of giant Legos?) The boys rode on a train and I visited the architectural "museum" there, full of all kinds of neat windows, statues, locks, and other old pieces of neighborhood buildings.

We also went to Pappy's Smokehouse, a very popular St. Louis BBQ place, which was recommended by out trolly driver. Lunch was a bit expensive, but there was a tremendous amount of food and fried corn! The boys, normally quite fond of corn, were not the biggest fans of the fried version. Arthur ate about half before deciding he didn't care for it and Balin tried one tiny bite before handing it off to me.

I caught up with an old friend from college who was living just outside St. Louis. We went to her home for dinner and met her husband and daughter. (The kids had a blast playing together.)

Close to our hotel was a small park with all kinds of structures that kids could climb upon. The boys were most fond of the rabbits and would want to climb on top of them every single time we walked by that park. (Which was quite often.)

On the very last day of our trip, I wanted to visit the Missouri Civil War Museum, but knew that the boys would not be able to tolerate a trip to a place where most of the fun artifacts were stuck behind glass display cases. My friend had given us a coupon to the Magic House, the children's museum in St. Louis, so Robinson took the boys to play while I wandered around the museum. Judging by the pictures he took, they had a much better time there than they would have had following me around. The Civil War museum was quite impressive - the entire thing was paid for by local funds, all raised by the curator and the other volunteers over the course of several years. They had made the necessary repairs to the building and were currently transforming the building next door into a research library. They had a lot of information about Missouri's role in the Civil War, including their relationship with Kansas, so the trip had been well worth it.

What did you do for spring break?

Blessed be.