Well, it's going on 3 weeks since I've had Balin and our lives changed again. I had forgotten how much work an infant is. I'm up about every two hours nursing; this time, however, I've been trying to rest as much as I can while Balin is sleeping. It helps that Robinson's been around to assist me and keep Arthur company. I'm lucky that my mom will be coming up this weekend and staying for two weeks. She can entertain Arthur while I sleep or hold Balin while I play with Arthur. Robinson will be starting up work next week (only two days), so he'll still be around.Life's a bit tougher with this new addition. Arthur demands attention, but he's also pretty good about playing by himself. He's also got his playdate friends to keep him entertained and next week he starts swim lessons.
So far, the house is a bit messier, a bit louder, and we have to get ready at least a half hour sooner if we travel. I've cried a couple of times in frustration, but I feel no where near as lost as I did when I had Arthur. I felt like my whole world had changed and it kept changing. I couldn't find a constant and I felt like my efforts to establish a consistent schedule (for me and Arthur) had failed. It wasn't until I started spending more time with Robinson's friend (and News-Miner co-worker) Amanda that I finally felt like things were looking up. Perhaps it helped that Arthur was also getting older and a little more receptive to a schedule. I don't know. But whatever it was, it was a godsend to have that support.
And now I find that I have overwhelming support. The moms in the playgroup have been simply wonderful spoiling not only myself, but also Arthur. My own mom will be glad to hold the baby or play with Arthur. Even Robinson's at home more this time around. I feel a bit guilty being the center of attention, especially when I didn't do nearly as much for my friends when they had their second as I feel they are doing for me.
Is that the real distinction between having the first and second? Is it because I'm not reluctant to ask for help, or even at times to demand it? I'm certainly more confident and competent in my parenting, which helps, but there's something more.
I don't feel like everything that I'm doing results in frustration, tears, and eventually failure.
If this is the new normal, I think I'm doing pretty okay.
Blessed be.
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