At one time or another, everyone reaches a point where they no longer love what they are doing. It might be a job, it could be a hobby, perhaps it's a marriage or other relationship - but no matter the situation, you feel an overwhelming desire to just be done with it all.
I reached that point today.
This is not to say that I don't love my children. I do. I really do. As Robinson explained it, I have given up seven years of my life to care for them at home but recently it is becoming increasingly more and more difficult to enjoy staying at home with them.
It's mostly the little things. For instance, I like biking, but Balin hates the bike trailer and throws a fit whenever I propose a ride somewhere. If it were just me, I would be able to get up and go without having to worry about someone else or their stuff: their shoes, their jacket, their snack.
I'd like to be able to talk to people without being constantly interrupted or physically pulled or pushed in another direction. I daydream about the day I can carry on a conversation with someone without one (or both) of my children complaining or embarrassing me. (I hope you, dear reader, never have the unpleasant opportunity of being harassed by your child when you are conversing with other adults because it is rip-out-your-hair frustrating. I am surprised that I am not yet bald.)
There's also having that extra time to pursue my own hobbies - quilting, drawing, and writing - which are often difficult to do with children around. I could - and do - often draw or quilt when my boys are home, but I find it nearly impossible to write. It's like they sense the exact moment when I sit in front of the computer hoping to push out a page or two to begin fighting or constantly interrupt me.
Some of you are probably thinking, "But you'll miss them once they are in school!" I won't lie. I probably will. I'll miss reading to them. I'll miss the hugs and the kisses. I'll miss building Legos with them. But these are all activities that I can do with them on the weekends and I will probably appreciate my time with them far more than if they remained home with me.
So, for now, I am trying hard to just make it through the rest of the school year and the summer.
Blessed be.
I reached that point today.
This is not to say that I don't love my children. I do. I really do. As Robinson explained it, I have given up seven years of my life to care for them at home but recently it is becoming increasingly more and more difficult to enjoy staying at home with them.
It's mostly the little things. For instance, I like biking, but Balin hates the bike trailer and throws a fit whenever I propose a ride somewhere. If it were just me, I would be able to get up and go without having to worry about someone else or their stuff: their shoes, their jacket, their snack.
I'd like to be able to talk to people without being constantly interrupted or physically pulled or pushed in another direction. I daydream about the day I can carry on a conversation with someone without one (or both) of my children complaining or embarrassing me. (I hope you, dear reader, never have the unpleasant opportunity of being harassed by your child when you are conversing with other adults because it is rip-out-your-hair frustrating. I am surprised that I am not yet bald.)
There's also having that extra time to pursue my own hobbies - quilting, drawing, and writing - which are often difficult to do with children around. I could - and do - often draw or quilt when my boys are home, but I find it nearly impossible to write. It's like they sense the exact moment when I sit in front of the computer hoping to push out a page or two to begin fighting or constantly interrupt me.
Some of you are probably thinking, "But you'll miss them once they are in school!" I won't lie. I probably will. I'll miss reading to them. I'll miss the hugs and the kisses. I'll miss building Legos with them. But these are all activities that I can do with them on the weekends and I will probably appreciate my time with them far more than if they remained home with me.
So, for now, I am trying hard to just make it through the rest of the school year and the summer.
Blessed be.
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