I'm not a baby person.

Having had two babies, I think I can say that with some certainty. I'm more of an older baby-toddler person.

Needless to say, I've had a very rough day alone with a one month old and a three year old. I know that it's bound to get better, but it's hard to keep some semblance of sanity with a newborn who loves to sleep in my arms (and no where else) and a three year old who is constantly begging for attention.

So far, the post partum depression that I suffered with Arthur has yet to rear its ugly head, which leads me to believe that 1) I've changed a lot since I've had Arthur, 2) the hormones are reacting differently, or 3) I've had a lot more help and a great support network. It could be all three.

Still, days like this leave me wanting to cry and tear my hair out. When Arthur was a baby, I read a book called "Buddhism for Mothers with Young Kids." In it, it recommended writing down three things that you were thankful for everyday. Somehow, I'm not sure how or why, doing that one small thing at the end of a trying day was soothing.

1. I'm thankful that I've already been though this once and that I can anticipate what Balin needs as well as what I need.

2. I'm thankful that I have Arthur to make me laugh. The silly things he says and does always puts a smile to my face.

3. I'm thankful that I have a husband like Robinson who, after a hard day of work, will take both the kids outside to play so that I can be alone with my thoughts.

Blessed be.


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