Boreal Witch

I think it's safe to assume that summer has finally reached Fairbanks. Lately, though, it's been windy, gray, and cloudy lately, but it should be warming up by Monday. But, I'm not writing this post with this weather in mind; instead, I write this post contemplating the promises of summer renewal.

Spring and summer are important seasons for me. When I was a child, my sisters and I often left Barrow and moved to our grandparents', aunts', and uncles' houses in Kansas and Wisconsin. We usually stayed for the entire summer. What an incredible chance of renewal! To vacate the dark, flat tundra of Alaska's north and see the sunflower fields of Kansas, to climb large oak trees, to play in the corn outside my paternal grandparents' house, and to spend time with family. I remember growing up a lot under the instruction of my extended family.

Renewal...growth and opportunity. I still see that now, to some extent, with my new family: myself, my husband, and my son. This spring, I got rid of a lot of old junk that's been collecting around the house. I also started the garden. I should probably go through Arthur's toys again and weed out the ones he doesn't play with.

And, today, I cut my son's hair. He's been a hippie for quite some time now (as evident in the picture to the right), and because it's impossible for him to sit still for more than a second or two, I had to enlist my husband's help. Arthur sat on Robinson's lap while I tried to cut his hair.

Talk about an opportunity for growth and renewal! Even with his dad entertaining him and his pacifier to keep him calm, he was still such a wiggle worm. I didn't want to cut off huge chunks of hair (not to mention an ear), so proposed stopping and just cutting off the rest later. I didn't feel I could be patient enough to make a good cut. Robinson insisted that I keep going.


So, I kept going, and eventually, Arthur's hair was cut and turned out pretty nice. At least, I was pretty impressed by it. I can tell I've missed a couple of spots, but overall, it looks pretty good. Without that little push, I don't think I would have wanted to finish Arthur's hair and my poor Baby Boy would be crawling around with one side of his hair cut and the other side long and scraggly.

Summer is indeed a time to step out a bit from our comfort zone and challenge ourselves. So, here's my June challenge to everyone: do something you've never done before. If a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity comes your way, take it! Use that experience to shape who you are and what you want out of life.

Blessed be.

I hope everyone out there had a good Memorial Day. Things around here were pretty busy.

My father, nephew, sister, and her boyfriend came to visit. This was after my other sister and her daughter spent part of the week with us. Needless to day, I welcome today as a very quiet, stay-at-home kind of day.

We officially got things planted in the garden boxes. After some garage sale-ing with my dad and nephew, I hit the Hospice plant sale over on Turner. I got two irises to plant in my in-the-works-flower-garden which will hopefully be finished this summer. I don't like the thought of letting yard projects sit too long, even though they certainly have a way of piling up. At the beginning of the summer, I always think, "I have all summer to finish this!" and by the end of the summer, maybe (if I'm lucky) one project will be completed.

But that's the way of things, right? There are always more projects to finish, there's always something to be done...Summers in Alaska are especially busy. Homes are going up. Gardens are planted and then harvested. People bike, hike, and walk. Garage sales are everywhere. Yard projects are (hopefully!) finished. I am trying to make more of an effort this year to actually finish the things I start. (That's a challenge for me - I always seem to have more than enough projects.)

So...I will plan to work on my mosaic patio table first and try to finish it by next weekend (Sunday, June 7th). I'll be in town tomorrow and can grab the mastic and grout from Home Depot and the glass beads that I'll be using at Jo-Ann's or Michael's (or, if I'm lucky I'll be able to find some at a garage sale!). Then comes the patio chairs...but I should really concentrate on the table first.

That's my problem...I've always been and always will be a dreamer.

My youngest sister, Becky, and her daughter, Molly, came to visit this week. Molly is about 5 months older than Arthur, so they are fairly close in age and play together pretty well. Molly's walking, so she's able to get to all sorts of places that Arthur can't (he's still crawling), but she's given him some incentive to keep practicing!

We had a BBQ Wednesday night, and putting the corn on the grill, I gave the kids the pot of water the corn had been soaking in.* They had a great time picking up rocks, putting them in the water, and "stirring" their "soup" with their sand toys. Okay, so Arthur did most of the stirring (he made Molly get the rocks), but Molly got her fair share of water play in later.


The two of them got such a big kick out of playing with the rocks and water that Becky and I snapped some pictures. Here they are putting the rocks in the water...As you can see, Arthur is the one stirring. He did, however, decide to share with his cousin later. Maybe it isn't so much sharing as "graciously allowing" her to partake in the water fun.


I love this picture of my baby. He has so much fun playing in the water. It makes me laugh out loud to see how much he enjoys himself. I don't think he minded that much that he had to share the water with his cousin. Well, maybe just a little bit.

I'm so glad Becky and Molly got to spend some time up here. The weather was just beautiful and the kids had a blast together. It will be nice when Arthur starts walking so that he can keep up with his cousin!

Blessed be.

* I mentioned soaking corn before grilling it. Just soak the corn (husks and all) in a pot of cold water for about a half hour before putting it on the grill. The water steams the corn and the husks won't burn! When the corn is done, simply shuck the corn (without completely removing the husks), and add your favorite toppings. I'm not sure where my husband got the idea, but it's a summertime favorite.

It is truly amazing to watch your kid grow. Some days as I watch Arthur play, crawl, and "talk" I think to myself, "This was my little boy. This is my little boy. This will always be my little boy."

I guess a garden is kind of like a child. With the proper nourishment, it will also grow into a strong, healthy group of plants. It's exciting to watch the first seedlings pop out of the ground. It's exciting to watch the plants bud. It's exciting to finally pick the fruit off the plant and enjoy it with the family.

This year, we are growing corn, onions, beets, kohlrabi, cabbage, beans, lemon cucumbers, peas, radishes, lettuces, carrots, okra, and turnips. Some of these are utter wild cards (like the okra and lemon cucumbers), and others are old favorites (like the kohlrabi and peas). I've even consulted a new gardening book that I picked up at Gulliver's last year: "A Beginner's Guide to Successful Gardening in the Fairbanks Area" by Eloise DeWitt. She has an entire chapter devoted to garden friends and foes. Apparently, some plants can't live side by side and others love being around each other. Kind of like people, I guess.

Baby Boy is quite fond of "helping" and "gardening." This weekend, we started our little radish boxes. Last year, we planted radishes, didn't get around to thinning them, and then just sort of forgot about them...so...we got a few radishes, but not as many as we were hoping for. (Hey, give us a break! We just had a kid!)

Here's another one of Arthur and I getting the radish seeds planted. He liked playing in the dirt...he even got to try one of the seeds. He must have liked it because he wanted another one. He's really into bean seeds, too - so much so that one morning I found one in his diaper.

This year, I'm pretty determined to have a good garden. I have so much extra time on my hands that I'm even planning a flower garden (mostly irises, but some lilies and delphinium managed to sneak in there somehow). Alright, so I really don't have a ton of time, but I'd like to get the main area of the flower garden finished this year. We have a lilac bush from GVEA that also needs to be planted next to our other lilacs. I'm thinking about calling that area of the yard "Lilac Grove." Rather unoriginal, but naming portions of the yard is fun.

Blessed be.

I have chosen this weekend to be my "garage sale weekend." My husband absolutely loathe garage sales, so I am taking the morning off and flitting around town to find some good deals. (Depending on Baby Boy's nap schedule, he might be coming with me. He's been awfully fickle about his morning nap lately.) The military base, Ft. Wainwright, is having a huge garage sale and there are a few other places off of Airport Way I'll be checking out. There's also a benefit garage sale for one of the preschools in town at the Fairgrounds, so I'll also be making my way over there.

I actually started my garage sale-ing a little early. Yesterday, I bought a little cassette/CD player for Arthur's room, but the thing started making funny noises soon after we brought it home. So, I'm going to attempt to bring it back and either get a refund or find $7 worth of stuff that I can carry home under Arthur's stroller. I hope they just take it back.

I'm looking for some fun summer stuff for Baby Boy. High on the list are: summer shorts and tees, a sandbox or other big yard toys (I would love someday to get him a swing...he loves swings), some smaller sand toys that we can take to the park, and maybe a potty chair. I know it's a bit early to be thinking about that, but potty training will be here soon enough, so I might as well be prepared.

One of my other mom friends asked me to find a "baby fence" that she could use outside. Her son likes to run around the yard...and then out of the yard! She doesn't want to spend the $80 to buy one (and I can't blame her - it seems outrageous to spend that much on metal bars and nylon), so she's hoping I'll be able to find one. Her son's birthday party is coming up and I've been a very bad quilter lately (what do you expect? It's been so nice out!), so I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish the quilt I was making for him. Maybe I should stop playing so many computer games at night and get to work!

Ah, the sound of summer: haggling over other people's junk!

Today was one of the nicer days we've had in a while, though the clouds were still pretty thick and it could rain at anytime. Our yard (if you could call it that) is pretty swampy from the last rain. Because our "dirt" is composed primarily of clay, the water doesn't absorb into the ground very well. I won't even mention the fact that we have more weeds than grass in our yard. I would love to eventually get real grass!

After Baby Boy's morning nap, we went outside to play. It was a lovely 50 degrees, a little breezy, but pleasant. We took a walk around the yard to make sure everything was draining properly. We also checked out the rhubarb and the garden boxes. I helped him "walk" on the driveway. He's not quite ready to walk by himself yet, but he's able to "walk" the length of the couch, bed, chair, or crib.

It makes me so happy that my son gets so excited about seeing water, birds, or rabbits in our yard. He loves being outside and watching the cars drive by or picking up rocks. As I watch him, I can't wait until we can go camping and teach him which plants are edible, how to watch animals from a safe distance, and go fishing. I remember how inspired I was just being outdoors and I hope that Baby Boy someday feels the same way. When I was a child, I think my sisters and I spent more time outside than inside!

My experience today reminded me of a quote by Rachel Carson:

"Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature -- the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter."

I am inclined to agree, and, in fact, many authors and researchers claim that having nature experiences are a crucial part of a child's development. Not just physical development, but emotional and cognitive as well! I am quite interested in this topic, and will hopefully conduct more research and disseminate it in future blogs. (Even though I am no longer a Master's student, I still feel the need to research something.)

As the day grows ever longer
Bringing clouds dark and somber
Amid the gap the sun doth shine
Tho' light, it seems, was left behind.

Blessed be.

Mother's Day was Sunday. My husband and Baby Boy made me breakfast (but not in bed...I got up to do some Yoga, which was great because my back's been killing me) and my gift was...drum roll please...some garden planters that we made the day before. Some of you out there may be scoffing, "Well, that's not much of a gift," but I love that we're expanding the garden this year. We've already got some starters hanging out in the mudroom until it gets warm enough to transplant them outside.

Now that I'm a mother, I'm finding that there's a really big learning curve. There are so many things I don't know about my son (and some things I'll probably never know). It gets easier with time, though. He's learning a lot from us though. He's starting to finally pick up some of the signs I've been teaching him, which is great. He made the sign for "milk" Sunday while we were in the grocery store to let us know he was thirsty. A doggie followed us home after our walk and he made the sign for "dog" and after we went inside the house, he crawled to the front door and made the sign for "more." He wanted to see more of the dog!

Anyway. Having a baby of my own has really given me a lot to be thankful for, especially toward my own dear old mom. She really tried to be there for me, including the days when I was a teenage terror. She often tells me stories about when I was a baby: that I loved to get out of my crib, that I could unbuckle my car seat, that I got into my father's prized possession - his stamps. She tells them rather fondly now, but everything I did probably really irritated her at the time. I don't always appreciate her like I should, and I am sorry for that. But, I do love her.

So, Mom, thanks for making me the person I am today. I couldn't have done it all without you.

I'm not sure how I got on this subject, but something today reminded me of this. I went to my husband's church many, many months ago and during a Relief Society* talk someone mentioned how they couldn't wait to get to Heavenly Father because this world was so evil.

I reeled in my seat, What??? Did I hear that right?

Apparently, I did because many of the other "Sisters"** nodded in agreement.

I sat there dumbfounded, almost wishing I had found my voice so that I could say, "What evil world?"

Okay, don't get me wrong. There are a lot of bad things in this world. People lie, cheat, drink, beat their loved ones, kill each other. But there are a lot of good things, too. There have to be. If life is about achieving balance, then we have to be committed to take the good with the bad.

What is so bad about:

* smelling the earth after a rain?
* planting a garden and feeding your family with it?
* listening to the wind rustle in the trees?

I don't know. Maybe I've been a Wiccan for so long that I just don't get the doom and gloom of Christianity anymore. I wonder if there are any other Wiccans/Pagans who feel the same way.



* My husband is a Latter-Day Saint (aka Mormon). During the last hour of church, the men and women attend separate classes. The men go to Priesthood and the women to Relief Society.

** Members of the LDS church call each other "brothers" and "sisters", even if they are not literally siblings.

Jingle-jingle-jingle.

I laughed to myself as Baby Boy rang the bells his Oldma had given him. He had picked them up before we left the house and as long as I didn't have to carry them, I was alright with him carrying them.

As we walked up the street to the scenic overview, I told him about some of the things we saw as we walked. We saw dogs barking. He pointed excitedly as trucks and cars zoomed past us. We also saw some of our neighbors getting some fence-building materials out of their truck, and I smiled. Summers in Alaska are so short, so all nice days become super productive. Houses go up in a two-month span. We'll be making some new garden boxes this weekend (hopefully) and getting some of those pesky yard chores completed. Some of this summer will also be spent replacing our mudroom roof.

Jingle-jingle-jingle. Plunk!

The sudden break from the bell jingle disrupts my concentration. I pick the bells up and hand them back to Baby Boy as something catches my eye.

It's the perfect pine cone. It's small (just like all the skinny trees in Fairbanks) and fits in my hand perfectly. It fluffs out quite nicely and is a lovely shade of brown. I smile, holding it in my hand as I continue walking.

Jingle-jingle-jingle.

About 3/4 of the way home, I take a better look at the pine cone. It's not at all perfect, and in fact, I believed that all of the cones were complete; however, there is one that has a crack down the center.

Hmmm. So it isn't perfect after all.

Does that matter?

Well, no. It doesn't.

As I thought about it, this pine cone is kind of like...well...life and everything in life. This pine cone represents your kids, marriage, neighbor, friends, yourself - you may wish them to be perfect, or to have the perfect relationship with them, but that's just not possible. What is possible is to accept what you have and to try and make the most of it.

That's my two cents for the day. Granted, not very original, but genuine.

Upon approaching a river deep -
Said I, "Flowing streams I wish to pass
through your eddies strong and wild!"

Tonight, I am home alone: Baby Boy is alseep, my husband is at a school board meeting. I love quiet nights like this where it's just me, the cat, and my bedroom window (inevitably, I stare out the window from the computer desk).

The weather had been unseasonably warm in Fairbanks for this time of year. Gorgeous. It was in the high 60's, low 70's for about a week. Now it's cold, dreary, and will probably rain tonight. It sounds as though I don't care for the rain; that's not true. I love the fresh clean smell of a hard rain and I love the way the earth feels and looks after a shower. It's just that Alaska summers are so short, it's nice to feel the sun on my face.

Nights like this remind me of why I became a Wiccan. I did not grow up Wiccan. Both of my parents were Christian, albeit very bad ones. We attended a little Presbyterian church every Sunday, hardly ever prayed at meals, and never read the Bible. In fact, I received a Bible as a gift from my Sunday School class, but never read it. My grandmother was very upset by this, but I feel blessed that my parents allowed my sisters and I to have the freedom of choosing our own religions.

Anyway...I'm getting off track. I knew at a very young age that the Bible was not for me. Christianity saves some people, but it would not save me. Once I turned 12, I stopped going to church once and for all. Even my father's bribes of a Chinese lunch could not lure me into the house of God. Funny thing was, once I stopped going, the rest of my family did too. It was almost as if my parents didn't have to keep up appearances for the sake of their children any longer.

I was 16 when I finally found Wicca. I loved the basis of this religion. It empowered me in a way that Christianity never did. As a woman I became important, I became loved, I was finally a child of the Universe. I reveled in Nature, I learned all about the plants in my area and their magickal properties, I prayed to the Heavens using candles and incense. It was incredible. I didn't need a book to understand God. God was all around me. God was the butterfly. God was the lapping waves of Cook Inlet. God was the mountain. God was the grass. God was moose. God is man. God is woman. I am God.

I am God.

I felt like I had the Dead Sea Scrolls in my hands. However imperfect, I was walking perfection. I watched the changing seasons with new interest, discovering so many new aspects I hadn't known before: smells, sights, and sounds. All of these, even though I had seen them so many times before, became new to me. I loved experiencing the world through a second childhood.

Now, I have lost some of the need/drive to conduct rituals. I no longer burn candles faithfully and I've stopped burning incense. I have, however, still felt the need to be a part of Nature. I go on long walks everyday with my son. I teach him about the different local animals, plants, and birds. He's too young right now to understand the significance of the Wiccan holidays, but we'll get there. There's still a lot I don't know about the world yet.

Cleansing clouds of grey
Above me whisper song so sweet -
Enchanted, I lay.

'Ere wash the Earth in
Pale drops of melody that
Summer can begin.

Blessed be.