At about 5 months, Robinson and I felt it was time for Arthur to begin the arduous process of self-soothing. He already accepted and loved his pacifier, which helped greatly, but we did the research, started a bedtime routine (that surprisingly hasn't changed much to this day), and then left him in his crib.

I remember crying because my baby was crying. Robinson became the "Almighty Soother" and went in at various intervals to calm Arthur. After a few days, he got it and we haven't had much of a problem keeping him asleep. Sometimes getting him to bed is another matter...

Fast forward three years. I wanted to wait until Balin was 5 months old to start sleep training, but at 4 months, it's now time for Balin to learn how to self-soothe. He's slept with Robinson and I since birth and neither one of us can sleep with him thrashing in between us. The transition from our bed to his bassinet hasn't gone well. Every time we put him inside it he wakes up immediately or wakes up an hour later. (The fact that he's been waking up every two hours to nurse himself to sleep hasn't helped either. I'm not a human pacifier, kid!)

We talked about it and decided it was time for him to just cry it out.

I am an advocate for crying it out when it is done properly. I have never let either of my children cry and cry and never check on them until they vomit. To be honest, that turns my stomach. It's hard enough to hear my kid cry for comfort (although I usually spend some time outside and make Robinson soothe the baby while we're going through this process), but to let them just cry without soothing them seems so wrong.

The first night was simply awful. It took Balin about an hour and a half to fall asleep and then he woke up every couple of hours screaming. It finally ended at 6am when I heard him up. I was terrified about tonight because Robinson had a school board meeting and I didn't know if I could handle hearing his cries.

The boys took baths. I got Balin into his pajamas, read him a story, nursed him, sung him some songs, kissed him goodnight, then left, just waiting for the screaming to begin.

To my bewilderment, there was a five minute period of fussing and then...nothing. Balin had fallen asleep on his own, without help.

Of course, he woke up screaming an hour and a half later, but put himself back to sleep within 5 minutes of waking. So, so far, so good.

This could be the beginning of something beautiful. A decent night's sleep.

Blessed be.


Mom has a poem on her living room wall with all of our handprints on it. This picture captured the memory of making it and then seeing it hanging there, year after year. It's not really of a handprint, but I love it just the same.

The poem goes like this:

My Handprints
Sometimes I might upset you
Because I am so small

And always leave my fingerprints

On furniture and walls.


But everyday I grow a bit
And soon I'll be so tall

That all those little fingerprints

Will be so hard to recall.


So here's a special handprint

Just so that you can say

This is how my fingers looked

When I placed them here today.


Blessed be.


Balin has taken his first steps into a wider world.

He is now an avid roller.

He rolled once Friday, which I believed to be a fluke because he was on uneven ground. When he did it again Saturday, I realized he knew exactly what he was doing. By Sunday, Balin rolled from his tummy to his back without pausing at all...multiple times!

I marvel at how strong he's become. Last week, he'd lift his head up for a short period of time before putting it down again. Now, he keeps his head up for a while before rolling over. It's truly incredible how quickly these kids master their bodies and are able to manipulate the world around them. Soon he'll be crawling and then walking and talking. Then he'll start school. Then he'll be driving.

My, how it's bittersweet.

Blessed be.


My friend Seneca had her baby girl about a week ago. We made plans for Balin and I to come visit Saturday while the boys and Oldpa saw the new Winnie the Pooh movie. They dropped me off at Seneca's house.

But no one was there.

It wasn't surprising because she sent me an email saying that they were going on an outing, but hopefully would be back no later than 2pm. I sat on a folding chair, nursed Balin, and soaked in the silence.

It was glorious.

A younger me would have probably avoided the silence by breaking it. Now that I rarely get a moment to myself, I found the silence to be enlightening. I sat just feeling the flow of energy and life around me. The sun warmed my hair. The flowers' sweet perfume filled me with happy satisfaction. The light tinkle of the wind chimes gave me a smile.

Someday I will meditate frequently and soak up the silence. I am fully committed to making that happen.

Blessed be.


Oldpa came to visit us for a week. Arthur, who is always looking for more attention these days, loved having him here. We visited the museum and Chena Hot Springs, but we also hiked to Angel Rock which is something that Robinson and I, in our many years of Fairbanks living, haven't done.

The day was cool and we were bombarded by mosquitoes, but as we progressed up the trail, the winds picked up and they weren't such a bother. At the middle of the trail, we found a special surprise - blueberries - and stopped to pick some. We had been hearing rumors of ripe blueberries; apparently they were true. We picked a handful and gave them to Arthur. He gladly accepted.

The best part of the hike was the view of the valley from the rocks. Even with the overcast skies, it was a breathtaking sight. Oldpa and Robinson explored the area by climbing all over the rocks (an activity I have little doubt Balin and Arthur will be doing someday while I suffer through heart palpatations). Arthur ate applesauce and played in the sand. He wished that he had brought one of his trucks with him.

On the way up, I noticed a pentagram carved into a tree. I love finding these shapes in nature, but it's interesting to see where people leave their own marks. This graffiti may not have been intended to be spiritual, but I wondered if there were others like me who passed it on the way up and thought, "What a lovely affirmation of my faith." I breathed a little deeper and smiled to myself.

The rest of the week passed quickly. We made triple ginger ice cream and grilled pork ribs. Arthur and Oldpa played with trains. Oldpa played his harmonica for the kids and when he stopped Arthur asked, "Oldpa, will you turn your harmonica back on?"

It's been so lovely to have so many people visit us this summer. My family is planning on coming back a couple more times before fall. I hope my dad makes it while there's kohlrabi to be had!

Blessed be.


This year Robinson and I agreed that we wanted an amazing garden. Our past gardens have been okay, provided that the moose didn't devour it first. Last year, my friend Seneca had an incredible garden. I was (quite literally) green with envy. It was practically a jungle growing in her backyard. Robinson started doing research about gardening and came up with this little gem of an idea:

Aren't these amazing? They look like real greenhouses...and all it took was a little PVC pipe and plastic! I can't really take credit for these, they were all Robinson's idea.

It's been such a fun experiment. The moose have been kept away and we've gotten kohlrabi much earlier than usual. I'm sure the extra watering has been helping, too.

Here's Arthur in one of the greenhouses. I think he thinks it's a fort or hideout of some kind. He loves being in it but hates getting out of it. He's not the only one - it's a challenge for the most coordinated of adults. Even I have to bend into various yoga positions in order to get out of the greenhouses.

The height of the summer is such a wonderful time, don't you think? I love the sheer laziness of it, thoughts of nothing to do, and having all the time in the world. It's romantic, the calm before the storm of autumn canning, berry picking, and fishing.

I'm really glad that Balin was born in March. He's just a ball of baby to carry around. It's so easy to pick him up and take a hike or play outside with the two boys. I wonder how he'll do when we go berry picking...

Blessed be.


Upon returning to Fairbanks, I finally got around to washing these art shirts that we made for Arthur and Balin. My sister Blythe said they looked like rocker shirts. I agree wholeheartedly.

It's a pretty simple process: 1) spread Elmer's glue on shirt, 2) let dry, 3) water down acrylic paints, 4) paint on shirt in colors of your choosing, 5) let dry, and 6) wash well.

I think we'll be doing it again, but I doubt I'll be able to get pictures of Arthur in his shirt. I had to bribe him with an Otter Pop to get him to wear it this time.

Blessed be.